The Night: Welcome, Party, Discussion, Prayer.

Small groups are not about having a mini church. They’re not about a message preached. Small groups are about vulnerability. Authenticity. Human beings sharing their failings, their victories, their ups and downs. Why did sixty strangers come together in the first couple of months of us starting our church? They were hungry for authentic relationships. They hadn’t experienced the vulnerability of shared stories.

The atmosphere is vital. We have to create an experience people actually want to be at. And the one thing to keep in mind is this is a party. Why do we call our groups Dinner Parties? Yes, it’s a common name for a gathering among friends. But also, fifty percent of the word is party. We want the atmosphere, the heart of the night, and the structure to be intentional and purposeful. We want people to leave feeling uplifted and encouraged, carrying a lasting memory that this night was fun.

Part one: welcome and party

The first part of the night is for connecting, food, and fun. It’s not a library. It’s not a Bible study. This is the time to catch up with friends, meet new people, and break bread.

Our heart is to create an atmosphere of welcome where everyone feels the presence of God. The goal is to leave a positive memory. The space doesn’t have to be a perfect place, but it should be a safe place. Our leaders set a culture of being prepared before guests arrive. That looks like music already on, creating a party vibe. The table set. Candles lit. The sense of preparation sets an atmosphere of welcome so that every guest walks in and feels at peace.

Once everyone is welcomed in, that first hour is all about connection. You’re sharing food, sharing stories, building friendships. It’s like any gathering of friends. Joyful. Vibrant. This sets the stage for everything that follows. People’s walls come down because they feel safe. They’re willing to open up more in the discussion because they’ve built genuine relationship from the start.

Part two: discussion

After the party, there is a time set for discussion. This is the time where we gather around the Word and discuss Sunday’s message. Where we let the Word become flesh in our lives. It should start after everyone’s had a chance to connect and eat. The purpose is to create a safe space to digest Scripture, encourage, and learn from one another.

Open the discussion by sharing the heart behind Dinner Parties. Introduce yourselves. Let everyone else in the room introduce themselves with an ice breaker. It’s a great way to open up before diving into the Word. By setting the stage and sharing the why behind gathering, you bring purpose and intentionality to the night.

One practical tip. Don’t say it’s time to start when you transition to discussion. Because then you’ve implied that the start wasn’t when the party, connection, and food happened. The start was when people arrived. The moment they walked in. That was spiritual just as much as the discussion will be. Transition into the discussion, but let it flow naturally. People should sense that the first part was just as important as the second.

Part three: prayer

Following discussion, Dinner Parties close in prayer. This is a moment for people to break into smaller groups and share what’s on their hearts. What they need prayer for. If it’s a large group, break into smaller groups. If it’s a smaller group, pray all together. This builds community and connection, and it invites the Holy Spirit into the room.

In Galatians 6:2, Paul talks about bearing one another’s burdens. When we pray together, we are actually lifting weights off of each other and casting our cares, as a community, to the cross.

When we’re open and honest in prayer, when we intercede for each other, this leads us to live together whole and healed. Praying together at a Dinner Party is so important to being unified and experiencing wholeness in community. As people take off the mask and find freedom in the small group setting, Sundays become even more powerful and built upon. Small groups always build the whole.

The shape of the night at a glance