Leadership Roles: The 2x2 Blueprint of Jesus.

How we lead our groups and how we establish leaders creates the foundation for the health and longevity of a Dinner Party. We don’t lead with just one leader and an assistant, which in my experience has been the classic model of small groups. As I was studying the gospels, I saw that Jesus sent His disciples out two by two. That lit up something in me. What a brilliant idea from Jesus. He understood that collaborative leadership is better than the solo leader.

When Jesus sends people out in pairs, He’s acknowledging that the weight of leadership, discipleship, and gospel work isn’t meant to rest on one person. We’ve taken that blueprint and built our Dinner Party leadership around four leaders, not one. Four people carrying the weight together. That sets up leaders for a win. And we’ve found that Dinner Parties are a lot healthier, stronger, and more consistent because of the four.

The benefit of a four-person leadership team is that the group can always run. If someone has a bad week, someone is traveling, someone is sick, the Dinner Party still goes on. The other benefit is that it’s set up to be gifting-related. Different people have different gifts, so your leaders can have different roles. Not all having to do every part of running the group, but truly exercising their gifting and thriving as a leader in their zone.

You’re going to have someone who feels really confident leading a discussion. Another who has a heart to open their home. Another who loves cooking and creating atmosphere. And a fourth who is a connective person, extending invitations to new people and being diligent in follow-up. It’s the combination of these four gifts that we’ve found to be the sweet spot.

Our guidance is that each leader owns one of the four areas. That doesn’t mean the roles can’t ebb and flow, or that people can’t help one another. But the success of the group rests on the ownership of the leader. When each leader is clear on what they’re overseeing, things don’t fall through the cracks.

The momentum of the individuals in your church is tied to your small group system. The discipleship of each member is limited or released by the health of their leader. So if your leaders are collaborative, working as a team, in their gifting and grace zones, the individuals and members of your church will be healthy and grow.

Here are the four roles.

1. Host

The Host is the person who opens up their home for the Dinner Party. Their mission is to create an atmosphere of welcome. Setting the table. Lighting candles. Having music on. The space doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should be thoughtfully set up.

The Host should be someone who enjoys opening their home and welcoming people in. Someone committed to doing so every week. But when situations do come up, when the host is traveling or sick, always have a backup host ready. We train our team to have a plan B for every group. The goal is consistency with the same host weekly, with the flexibility to move the group elsewhere if needed so that it never has to cancel.

2. Hospitality

The Hospitality leader is in charge of preparing and planning the meal. Often this is someone who loves to cook and prepare food. Sometimes this role helps the group bring potluck dishes or plans themes for meals. Taco nights. Pasta. Breakfast for dinner. This person creates the themes, structures the meals, and plans so that everyone can participate and the food for the night is delicious. We’ll talk more about food and why it matters so much in the chapter on Culture.

3. Follow Up

This leader owns the follow-up with Dinner Party guests and new attendees. They have a heart to connect with people and help them find community. Once someone signs up for the group, this leader reaches out, introduces themselves, and builds a connection. They share the details, and they become the first point of contact. After someone’s first gathering, they follow up, ask how the person enjoyed the night, invite them to church on Sunday, and build a rhythm of connection.

The Follow Up leader also fosters connection across every member of the group and reconnects those who haven’t been around. A good rule of thumb is that a leader should touch base with everyone under their care at least once every ten days. This isn’t about a task. It’s not about the phone call or the conversation or the text. It’s about people. Lives being changed as they experience real love and care in a church family.

Intentional, personal reach-outs have been the game-changer for our Dinner Party system. Small groups can rely on a sign-up form, an email, a tech system for connecting new people. All of that is great and helps as you grow. But even when you grow, don’t forget the personal touch. The power of a text saying I missed you at group last night or come sit with me on Sunday can be the moment that reconnects someone into the life of the church and grafts them back into relationship with God.

Every Dinner Party sign-up is a life. A person looking for community. Connect with your group on Sundays. Sit together during the service. It’s a great way to build community.

As the Follow Up leader, you’re also responsible for attendance. Every Dinner Party at FOUNT tracks attendance weekly. Not for the sake of numbers, but to properly care for the members of the group. Accurate attendance helps track retention, helps you pastor people well, surfaces patterns, and ensures that those who stop coming don’t slip through the cracks.

4. Discussion

This person guides the discussion. They let others speak, ask questions, and engage with Sunday’s message. From the beginning, the discussion topic in our groups has been the Sunday message. Instead of having leaders dive into a different topic or prepare a separate curriculum, we’ve seen real fruit from discussing Sunday and applying it to our lives. This brings unity across the church. It builds Sundays into Dinner Parties and Dinner Parties into Sundays. Instead of a disconnect between what the church is learning, we’re all growing in the same direction.

The goal is to draw out stories and interact with the Scripture and the message. Ask questions that engage the group and relate to people’s struggles and perspectives. Be sensitive to your audience. For those who aren’t yet believers, stay away from Christianese. Paint a big picture. Point people to Jesus. The other leaders should support throughout the discussion. It’s a team effort. Even if you’re not leading the discussion, every leader should come with a point to share. Take notes during the service. Let the Word become part of you. You’ll learn more and lead better.

Discussion time is for the voice of the whole community to be heard. This helps you shepherd and care for people. It helps you find out where people actually are. The way we help people open up is for the leader to pioneer the moment. We want people to be vulnerable. It’s not often that people have meaningful conversation. They’re craving it. A Dinner Party night can be the conversation that changes someone’s life.

The idea is not to have another preach. Sunday is a one-way delivery of the Word. But small groups are where the two-way conversation happens. It’s the Discussion leader’s job not to preach another message, but to welcome people into the Word. That happens through the leader’s own vulnerability. Sharing what has challenged them. What has impacted them. That’s the bouncing-off point for the whole group. When you share a specific challenge, the whole room shifts. You can share wins and victories too, but make sure you share the challenges and the tests along the way.

Don’t be shocked by what people share. Our culture isn’t one of condemnation. It’s an open space. The response is love, humility, understanding, and warmth. A culture of vulnerability and story makes growth relatable. We don’t need to have arrived to share a testimony. We don’t need to be perfect to share our story. We let God’s grace shine through. Wherever people are, let them be there. And then help them take the next step.

Preparation is everything. Be expectant on Sundays. Listen and take notes during the message. This helps you digest it and come to discussion with specific ways it impacted your life, not just stating the message points. Talk with your other leaders before the night. Ask them how Sunday is landing for them. Check with the Follow Up leader on who’s coming. If you know you have a lot of new people coming, tailor your discussion accordingly. Don’t assume everyone knows the topic or what the night will look like. Walk through it at the start. Knowing who is coming helps you prepare specifically for them.